Discovering Me.
Hello everyone! I have been MIA for a while now and I will share with the class why. I recently broke up my first boyfriend since I had my daughter and I decided to do some soul searching and to recognize self accountability within my self. I also wanted to really find what I needed to experience within myself before I date again………
Ok so I did create an eharmony account but quickly realized that I wasn’t patient enough to wait for the perfect match and I just wanted to figure me completely out before I became intertwined with someone else. I know for certain that I want to be married and I need my next relationship to lead to that. I read somewhere ( on Instagram to be exact) that if you have a strong desire to be a wife or husband that it will happen because God wouldn’t put a desire in your heart without fulfilling it, you must first prepare yourself for that desire AND if the desire to be married is NOT in your heart than don’t get married because marriage is not for you and your path. That statement truly resonated with me because I have wanted to be married since I was 10 years old ( really I’ve been dreaming of this) and my desire and want to be married has only grown stronger as I got older.
I want the two parent household, the children, the dog, the house and the memories with the wedding and family vacations to match. BUT thanks to life experiences, bad relationships and wisdom I’m so glad that I haven’t tied the knot in my 20’s because I had no understanding of what marriage is. HA!!! I had a huge self revelation. I thought it was a great public proposal, a huge wedding and a happily ever after but that is definitely not true. I’m 31 now and I see things different now.
Marriage is sacred and life long and in order for me to be the wife I want to be and attract the husband I want to attract I have to fully work on me. Being a better mother, being a better person, a better woman focusing on my goals and dreams and working on my flaws. So in this time that I decided to focus on me ( finally) I applied for graduate school and got in!! YAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!! I decided that I would get back to blogging (I’m back again.) and writing in my journal again just to express my feelings in a constructive manner. I started my concept for my next book and I’m being more present in God paying more attention to good spirited people and letting God speak to me directly.
I haven’t been good at self physical care lately but i’m gonna get back to that soon starting with a facial and giving myself a pedicure. I also have been applying for a new job!!! Doing these things, making these changes big or small in my life is helping me to mold all the great things about myself while growing into a stronger love of self so that I’m able to love my children and my future husband properly.
Thank you for reading my post today and always visiting my blog, I so greatly appreciate it!!!
xoxo,
Brianna
