Transparency

So being that my blog is a personal blog I thought I would take this intimacy thing just a little bit further by sharing some of my most private thoughts and stories about myself.  lets start off with how I didn’t always love my complexion. This is something I didn’t let be known, instead I kept it to myself. growing up all the boys that I liked always went for the lighter skinned girls or the white girls. That’s just how it was. Thank God I an amazing grandmother who always told me how beautiful I was and taught me self love. Yea, Grandma Guice was dope, she always uplifted myself and all of her grand-babies, she was the best! if it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t be half of who I am or trying to be a third of who she was. As I got older I became more confident in who I was and how I looked and realized that God makes zero mistakes. I was created in the image that he saw as glorious so why bother hated me. now that’s just stupid. Lets not be unrealistic I still have my insecurities, I wish I had bigger boobs, come on now their are 14 year old’s with a bigger chest than me! I’m annoyed, but whose going under the knife? NOT I! I refuse so I have no choice than to accept my position as president of the itty bitty titty committee and I’m OK with that.

Now on to my children. I don’t take about this because well it really isn’t anyone’s business but now I’m going to share this because you could be like me. I meant my son’s on Halloween and was instantly attracted to him. I envisioned my whole life with him, I was in love with him. We were together, I thought I found him but our relationship never worked, in hind site I know that now but then I couldn’t we hurt each other and I only did what I knew to try to get him to understand my worth and how much I loved him but that wasn’t enough. I ended up becoming a single mother to my beautiful son. I have been raising him alone ever since then. We grew up and he moved on first which brings me to my daughter. I had no business with her father because I honestly wasn’t over my ex and secondly I missed every sign that he was a bad guy. He was verbally and emotionally abusive and I found myself crying almost everyday with him. thankfully it was a short lived relationship. I was three months pregnant when i packed my things and left Texas all together. Plain and simple I have Two kids by two different men. To most it doesn’t matter that I was in a relationship with the both of them they will still judge and make assumptions about what kind of person you truly are. 

Now that I’ll be thirty in a couple of weeks I have learned to not worry about others and accept myself for who I am and to continue to learn from the mistakes I have made and to evolve into a better me so that my kids can be proud of their mother. I hope you all enjoyed my post today!! feel free to leave a comment below! *

xoxo, Brianna